Notes on a Life

by m e r f y

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philipbrose
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philipbrose Really listenable album with good melodies. Various influences at play here; acoustic, soulful, even a nod to Steely Dan on 'Got me Too'. Favourite track: Brand New Thing (nice video on YouTube). Favorite track: Brand New Thing.
Paul Jeal
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Paul Jeal Really nice album. Get strains of Mark Lindup (Level42) on some tracks. Favorite track: Hurricane.
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1.
You’ve got a heart like china It’s fragile but it’s so fine yeah When it gets used in the proper way No doubt that life gets crazy But who would be thought of as lazy Don’t you get tired every day?

You’re still tearing around praying it gets you love It’s never going to happen What you’ve been searching for was here all the time And there’s no mistaking now That together we could do anything at all And when you feel I’m here with you You’re gonna see the impossible be Sometimes I might seem far away But with me you will know exactly what to say And when you take me there with you I can make the impossible be I know your love for vinyl The way you think crisps are vital How your longing for joy can get misplaced I know the questions in you ‘Cause no-one sees you like I do Dying to meet your hopes face to face And you’re still running around like it’ll get you there It’s never going to happen What you’ve been counting on was here all the time And there’s no mistaking now That together we could do anything at all And when you feel I’m here with you You’re gonna see the impossible be Sometimes I might seem far away But with me you will know exactly what to say And when you take me there with you I can make the impossible be And there’s no question anywhere, not anymore Sky’s the limit, we can do anything at all And when you feel I’m here with you You’re gonna see the impossible be Sometimes I might seem far away But with me you will know exactly what to say And when you take me there with you I can make the impossible be
2.
Home Soon 04:44
Well the light has all gone And the night has crept in There’s a gathering fog But I have to begin (And I’ll be home soon, I will be home soon) And a thousand high lamps Circle round up above But it don’t make much difference ’Til I’m back with my love (And I’ll be home soon, I will be home soon) I came out here to play And I sang the old songs I was watching the dancing But it’s time I was gone (And I’ll be home soon, I will be home soon) ‘Cos there’s only me here With my old four-wheeled lady Together alone In a strange empty tarmac world (And I’ll be home soon, I will be home soon) And the radio man says it’s getting discordant But I won’t let it all get to me Oh I’ve got chords in my head A future celestial harmony Now what good would it do To be scared and nonplussed At what we’re coming to ‘Stead of who came to us (and what he did, and what he’ll do, and where we’ll go now) And so many around Say they don’t wanna hear That this feeling should die But you kill what you fear And this night gives way To tomorrow’s day I will be home soon So the radio man says we’re going to pieces But I won’t let it all get to me Oh I’ve got chords in my head A future celestial harmony And if I could get signal I’d phone up the station The time can’t be so very far away I’ll hear that song that’s in my soul A future celestial roundelay And I’ll be home soon I will be home soon
3.
Got Me Too 05:44
There's no place in a changing world For these old sounds and shirts You might as well admit What used to cut it now just hurts It's been your job to lead the song But too much hair is turning grey And every note betrays a link with dreaded yesterday You used to rock and roll for me And said you'd lose your soul for me Perhaps you thought the words would be enough Where will you run to? What you gonna do? Don't worry ‘bout it son, they got me too Did you forget they got me too? Sure, no-one will be heard to lob expletives up at you But you can hear them wondering if you're The best that they can do So lift your eyes up from the floor And take your hand up off the plough To finally find we’ve gone and moved ahead Without you now There was a time when you were green 'Cos meeting me'd changed everything 'Till friends all said their piece, then left and stuff But their bike shed jabber belongs to me, not you Don't mind about it son, they got me too And didn't I call you my dear one Haven't I called you mine Did we put in some time my son Did we invest some time Will I not make you wise old chum No need for all this whining Won't it be quite the ride my son Not for your want of trying Everyone prefers a bright young smile To cheer them on in life But deeper than your sense of style That is or isn't rife Is the understanding, peace-soaked soul I've been crafting you to be Your parents called it discipline I call it living free And if you have a role for me You’re gonna get into some holes for me I did say you'd not quite be wrapped in fluff So just keep in mind I've been there before you Trust that tough love, my boy, I've got you too And didn't I call you my dear one Haven't I called you mine Did we put in some time my son Did we invest some time Will I not make you wise old chum No need for all this whining Won't it be quite the ride my son Not for your want of trying
4.
Hurricane 04:16
You’ve been walking that well worn path again, my friend Forgetting it’s only a dark dead end, since when You’re seeing danger and darkness there Wherever you turn Where’s all that innocence you’ve worked so hard to learn? The broadband’s on, the TV’s up to drown out the noise Then you find too late it only amplified, intensified the noise Ooh, there’s a hurricane, hurricane Raging through to your heart and your mind again Don’t be shaken, don’t be swept along Know this hurricane soon will be gone You always knew this world was a broken affair, nothing new there  If every hour you only cower in despair What will it repair? And if your deepest fear came here to take your world apart Could you still carry everything you’ll ever need in your heart? And though you don’t need another Cut-price platitude today There’s no shame in asking what you’ll really need the storm can snatch away Ooh, there’s a hurricane, hurricane Raging through to your heart and your mind again Don’t be shaken, don’t be swept along Know this hurricane soon will be gone So be strong and hold on to the promise (Don’t go walking that well worn path again) (Don’t be shaken up by this hurricane) Grab that rope, there’s still hope, that’s a promise (Someday every thing will be explained) (Won’t be long and there won’t be no more pain) Hold that line for a time, you’ve been promised (Don’t be shaken up by this hurricane) (Someday every thing will be explained) So be strong and hold on to the promise Ooh, there’s a hurricane, hurricane Raging through to your heart and your mind again Don’t be shaken, don’t be swept along Know this hurricane soon will be gone It’s a hurricane, hurricane Crashing through and it’s driving you half insane Rest assured now you’re gonna come out strong When at long last the hurricane’s gone
5.
Sunshine 03:42
You’re sunshine in a person form A rainbow in a thunderstorm You make the greyest Monday fun And you see the best in everyone And everyone has days of doubt But when the mojo’s running out If you should feel inadequate I will run to be your advocate ‘Cause you bring a smile everywhere you go Like sunshine and pink trees and fields of snow And everyone we know says so And though these are things I can’t say - the damned Englishness gets in the way - That doesn’t make these words less true And I hope someday I’ll hear them too Oh I’ll hear them soon from someone too But you bring a smile everywhere you go Like blankets on cold days with sheets of snow Oh you bring a smile everywhere you go How can it be you don’t seem to know When everyone we know says so?
6.
Sooner or later, need a space to just be you I never would’ve guessed these carriages would do So now our talks are full of tracks we wanna see I’ll get on board with it, let’s see what this could be Brand new thing (I never knew it, I never saw it coming) For a brand new life (And I’m all for it, don’t wanna stop it happening) It’s a brand new world now It’s not the usual but what if it’s you? You all did well to make adjustments when you heard! Come, solidarity of sisters’ whispered word And as the avalanche moves toward this frozen lake At least we know what bridges we’ve got left to remake Brand new life (I never knew it, I should’ve seen it coming) In a brand new world (I’m grateful for it, I wouldn’t stop it happening) Got a brand new thing for you What if it’s ours and what if it’s now? Now You keep on learning all the time There’s always room to change your mind The whole world is coming out in your corner Come look to our brand new life It’s not the one that we’ve known Remember no-one learns alone So we can only come out of here stronger you know Beautiful beautiful friends all come out to say: ‘Let that cold dead stone roll on itself away’ Walk with those who weep And know that it matters to the Lord To catch the bus with room for every soul on board Brand new world (We never knew it, we should’ve seen it coming) With a brand new thing (We’re looking to it, we’re gonna see it happen) There’s a brand new life coming Hope for the future and hoping it’s soon Soon We’ll find we’re learning all the time (we’re learning, lifelong learning!) No shame if you’ve changed your mind The whole world is coming out in your corner Come work for our brand new life It’s not the one that we’ve known Remember no one walks alone Yes we can surely come out of here stronger Here’s hoping we see it soon We get new data all the time No shame if you’ve changed your mind The whole world is coming out in your corner Come look to our brand new life
7.
Tiny Love 03:57
Keep tripping over furniture That we don’t recognise We’ve never known such overwhelming need To shut our eyes And we’d go make a coffee If you’d let us leave the room We’ve never used the mop this often But we’re keeping schtum ‘Cause we planned, prepared for you Well ahead of time And we bought or borrowed Every book that we could find ‘Till we both were sure There was nothing you could ever throw our way That we weren’t waiting for But no-one said how overwhelmed with future hope we’d be
Whenever you would look around or grin And how were we to know that we could Melt because of chubby cheeks And know a tiny love that just tops everything We’ve now discerned the hungry cry From the tired one we think No longer seems so odd to rinse pyjamas in the sink Still we’ve never seen the sun come up This many times before
We’re sure we once were able To engage our brains much more But we planned, prepared for you well ahead of time And we read, devoured every book that we could find And we both were sure There was nothing you could ever throw our way That we weren’t waiting for But no one said… etc We hope you outgrow this cot And overtake your wildest dream We hope you belly laugh and show us how it’s done We hope that one day you grow up big and strong and change the world But don’t forget that you’ve already rocked our one ‘Cause nobody told us just how much of our own selves we’d see Whenever you look up at us and grin And how were we to know that there’s no word For just how proud we’d be Or for a tiny love that completely tops everything
8.
1 It took no force Took no pressure to break your heart I never realised what I’d done Don’t want no friends I’ll just hurt them all over again I don’t think I’ll come back from this one No I won’t do a thing today In case I make someone blue Anyway, if I sleep all day then I won’t remember you Unfiltered words Made your soul burn a darker blue Pushed your heart far away from my own It took no force Didn’t take any thought at all And no thought helps me not rather be alone. Now when I’m feeling lost as I do There’s a thing that reminds me of you It’s the song that we learned by the river And the melody cushions the sting (Where there is injury, Your pardon Lord) But just now I’m not sure I can sing (So much to be consoled as to console) Sing the song that we learned by the river The song that we learned by the river once again 2 Taking notes on a life mostly feels more profane than divine But I choose to believe this time I’ll remember the promise given to me from the start Trying to sing in a world that, at times, leaves you practically mime But I choose to believe this time That my new song’ll reach you - we can’t be so far apart It is confidence that all we hope for will be It’s the sure resolution that we don’t yet see It’s the first darkened step while we’re waiting for dawn Take heart, be strong I’m not of where I live I’ve more hope than I ever thought mine Yes I choose to believe this time That a day even brighter has been waiting there for so long It is confidence that all we hope for will be It’s the sure resolution that we don’t yet see It’s the first darkened step as we wait for the dawn Keep faith, go long Take heart, keep on Singing the song that we learned at the river The song that we learned at the river Only the song that we learned at the river The song that we learned at the river Once again 3 Oh heart Must we bring heavy things with us? Don’t start When this one’s been so generous I’m looking at the love I’m looking at the love This precious daughter The rope that she’s offering you Unfathomed worth Gonna pull you from out of the blue Be kind You don’t know her story or her mind Think slow And don’t forget your own advice I’m looking at the love (Can’t ignore what you heard her say) I’m looking at the love (All the love we could ever hope to hold) I’m looking at the love (She told you she won’t ever go away) I’m looking at the love Don’t take for granted The song that she’s offering you Discordant words Make a soul burn a sad kind of blue 4 You look past all my faults and quirks You’ll never understand how precious that is to me (so I don’t know why I do this) Whichever way I stood or I fell that day You pick me up and drive me home (so I know you don’t deserve this) You know I’ll always be better for you I know I panic and lash out it’s true but dammit You make a racket when you eat And pick the fluff out of your feet at dinner time And pleasing you’s impossible We’ll never be compatible I guess Since you act like you do But I’m looking at the love I’m looking at the love (all the love we could never hope to hold) You know I’ll always be better for you I shouldn’t blame you the way that I do but dammit You make a racket when you eat And when we play you always cheat at Christmastime (What kind of planet were you born on?) It’s always so impossible (What kind of farmyard were you raised on?!) You’ll never be compatible you know The world says so ‘Cos you’re the way you are! 5 Coming down off anger like some bad dark market drug The upper hand is cool But know the time will pull the rug Oh my God I’ve just kicked both our hearts to the kerb Paint a sign on everything that says please don’t disturb I’m looking at THE LOVE!!!!! Oh, have I learned nothing? Am I ever gonna learn to lose this mouth? My head won’t stop spinning Just what hope do I have of working this out? If you love anything Then your heart will be wrung and maybe even broken If you don’t love anyone You’re gonna make it impossibly hard But if you love anything Then your heart will be wrung and maybe even broken If you won’t love anyone... And you don’t just misplace what we had No you can’t just forget all of that So has the song that we learned by the river gone away Now we’ve both played the blues? And who’d ever have thought we could lose Lose the song that we learned by the river One dark day? Every toast I ever make I’ll drink to your memory Who would say there’d come a day That you’d have forgotten me? 6 But there’s no song That would bring you back over here I must do more than just vary the theme For you’ve moved on You’re at peace so I guess I can be You know I’m trying to be better for you.

credits

released November 27, 2020

Songs composed and performed by merfy except where indicated.
Huge thanks to Georgie, Lesley, Michael, Dave, Ben, Tash and Craig, Mark, all my family, and all the lovely friends who put time and care into this one, often long distance!
Written, recorded and mixed at Mad Platter and at different people’s homes all over the place between July 2015 and September 2020.

Special thanks to Juliette Greedy and Frank Portuondo
for long distance vocal engineering help.
Mastered by Michael Whiteman (of the cymbal sparkle)
at White Noise Music.
Artwork by Jared Drake.

Remembering NFT, who I miss every day,
and for whom I try to be better.

Go easy on each other. We’ve all been through a lot.

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This sound recording ©2020 Mad Platter Productions.

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m e r f y Ealing, UK

Based in Ealing, west London. Solo singer-songwriter project turned acoustic live trio. Vocal harmonies, folk/jazz-tinged guitars and thoughtful, uplifting lyrics.

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